This morning I found a new song by Sara Bareilles. I often feel like Sara has written the soundtrack to my life. This song is no different, “She Used to Be Mine” may not feel like exactly where I am now, but I think it’s a great snapshot of some points along my path. Especially, in those times where I screwed up royally and longed for the girl or woman I used to be.
I’ve listened to this song several times today and had a conversation with my mom about it. (Love, my angel Mama, by the way.)
[youtube width=”500″ height=”344″]https://youtu.be/DToejUka-XU[/youtube]
We’ve mused about whether we’d change things in our lives. Would we rewrite some endings for the girls we used to be?
Problem is, the big things that I’d want to change are like threads in a tapestry that gets mutilated when I extract them.
Remove my first marriage, and I might not have the children I have. Remove the crazy, stupid love-turned-to-heartbreak, and I wouldn’t have key wisdom and perspective that helped me fully appreciate and value the man who’s sharing the second half of my life.
The only thing I might change is I’d wait until I was older to marry. At 19, I didn’t even know who I was. My brain wasn’t even fully developed! I had no experience with men or love or hormones. I didn’t know that hormones could make you see people through a completely unrealistic lens. I didn’t know how much hormones distorted perceptions. I didn’t fully learn that lesson until I was 48 and single again.
Maybe if I’d taken my time when I was young, I would have matured and had enough experience to choose wisely. Then again, there’s the kids and my new hubby who loves me like I’ve never known love, and I think the price was worth paying.
Yet, there are plenty of small moments I’d like to change…
- I would have spent more time enjoying my children.
- Would have worried less over making money and relaxed and spent more time with my kids in their early years.
- I would have handled some situations differently when my kids were struggling.
I think I could safely do those things without disturbing the timeline too incredibly much.
What about you? If you had your life to do over, would you change anything? And if you would, could you handle the ripples?
About Marnie Pehrson Kuhns
Marnie Pehrson Kuhns is a Certified SimplyAlign Practitioner™ who uses music and creativity to mentor you past barriers, fears and doubts to discover, create, align with, and deliver your soul’s song (the mission, message or purpose you are on this earth to live). Marnie is a best-selling author with 31 fiction and nonfiction titles. If you'd like Marnie and her husband Dave to work with you personally on Your Great Reinvention, get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.
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