{"id":3913,"date":"2016-01-26T23:22:49","date_gmt":"2016-01-26T23:22:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/marniemarcus.com\/unplugged\/?p=3913"},"modified":"2016-02-13T18:33:50","modified_gmt":"2016-02-13T18:33:50","slug":"finding-meaning-in-the-mistakes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marniekuhns.com\/unplugged\/2016\/01\/26\/finding-meaning-in-the-mistakes\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding Meaning in the Mistakes"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m ready to let it go. I’m tired of examining\u00a0the old story, the mistakes, the sins, the absolutely idiotic choices I\u2019ve made.\u00a0 I\u2019m sick of trying to figure out how they happened or why I did them or why other people did what they did.<\/p>\n

For whatever reason, I seemed hell-bent on making self-destructive choices \u2026 like a runaway freight train barreling over a cliff with no mechanism to stop the inevitable.<\/strong> Perceiving myself as the cautious, level-headed \u201cgood girl\u201d for most of my life, I have been unable to comprehend how those poor choices were actually made by me.<\/p>\n

As I reflect upon\u00a0my state of mind and remember the people involved, I can actually see good things that came through those relationships\u00a0— good times, fun\u00a0memories, invaluable lessons, priceless gifts that I\u2019ve taken into my current life and relationships.<\/p>\n

A Controversial\u00a0Perspective<\/strong><\/h2>\n

These experiences seem absolutely crucial to my development and to taking me to where I am now.<\/strong> My brain hasn\u2019t been able to reconcile how something beautiful and necessary could only come from such stupid mistakes. But it did.\u00a0Additionally, had I not experienced the bitter, I wouldn\u2019t be so grateful in savoring\u00a0the sweet.<\/p>\n

I know it\u2019s not a popular stance among Christians \u2013 especially not among those of my faith \u2013 to believe there is actually something beautiful to be found through\u00a0sin. But I believe God can make something beautiful from our sins and mistakes. I\u2019m not advocating sinning for the experience, but I am saying there is something valuable in the experience when it does happen.<\/p>\n

All These Things Will Give You Experience<\/h2>\n

God put us here to gain experience \u2013 knowing full well we\u2019d mess up. Somehow in the grand scheme of things, us having these mortal experiences was worth it. It was worth the Father sending His Only Begotten Son to suffer mind and body, bleed at every pore, and die on a wooden cross.<\/p>\n

There are wonderful lessons and beautiful outcomes that came to me from stupid, stupid choices. I\u2019m not certain I could have arrived at \u00a0them in any other way.<\/p>\n

Then again, God can do anything. I’m sure if I’d been more faithful, stronger, more resilient I could have gained these valuable insights in a righteous way. Yes, it would have been wonderful (and immensely less painful) if I could have just been smart and learned by observation or by reading scriptures or books, but I did the best I could at the time. With the runaway train careening toward the cliff, I made the choices that I felt compelled to make.<\/p>\n

Spencer W. Kimball once said,<\/p>\n

\u201cJesus saw sin as wrong but also was able to see sin as springing from deep and unmet needs on the part of the sinner. This permitted him to condemn the sin without condemning the individual.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"deep<\/a>I have come to believe that (for me at least), the runaway train moments were an indication of a deep unmet need that DEMANDED to be addressed.<\/strong> Like an infection beneath the surface of the skin, it erupted to seek acknowledgement and healing. The runaway train was my true self screaming, \u201cYou will not ignore this wound \u00a0any longer. I need help! And come hell or high water, I\u2019m going to get it!\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

So as I look back on the past, I frankly forgive myself and anyone else involved \u2013 those who came into my life to facilitate healing through our relationship dynamic.<\/p>\n

In the past, I have viewed sin as a slap in Jesus\u2019 face. He paid the price for my sins. His precious blood paid the penalty for what I\u2019ve done. To add to that with more sin seems so cruel. When he said, “If you love me, keep my commandments” that’s probably what he meant! “If you love me, you won’t make me suffer any more.”<\/p>\n

Having said that, I also believe that He has forgiven me for what I\u2019ve done. He forgave me over 2,000 years ago!<\/p>\n

I hear Him saying, \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Marnie. You are worth it. The penalty I\u2019ve paid is worth the opportunity for you to find healing and to claim\u00a0the treasures lying within the experiences of mortality.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet it be,” He says. “It all happened as it needed to. The important thing is you repented and you’re Mine.\u201d<\/p>\n