{"id":2075,"date":"2014-04-26T19:41:11","date_gmt":"2014-04-26T19:41:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/marniepehrson.com\/unplugged\/?p=2075"},"modified":"2014-04-28T12:46:21","modified_gmt":"2014-04-28T12:46:21","slug":"the-quest-for-a-soul-mate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marniekuhns.com\/unplugged\/2014\/04\/26\/the-quest-for-a-soul-mate\/","title":{"rendered":"The Quest for a Soul Mate"},"content":{"rendered":"

In May of 2013, I gathered a group of friends at Serenbe Farms<\/a>, just south of Atlanta, for a retreat. At that point in my personal life I had just told my then-husband I wanted a divorce, but we were still living in the same house. The papers had not been filed. My friends were a great source of strength to me. Being with them was a priceless gift.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"IgnitePointWhile at Serenbe, we all walked the labyrinth together, and something unusual happened for me that day.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve walked a labyrinth before. I know that it ambles around, often going in directions that seem like they will never lead to the center of the maze.\u00a0 But, something in my thinking was tweaked. All I could think about was getting to the center. For some reason, I felt like the path I\u2019d chosen was going to make me arrive last. It wasn\u2019t about competing. I didn\u2019t want to \u201cbeat\u201d anyone there, I just had this odd concern that the others would be \u201cwasting their time\u201d waiting on me.<\/p>\n

As it progressed, I started \u201ccheating.\u201d\u00a0 I stepped over rows and into closer ones, believing those would get me to the center faster. I did this several times, but it didn\u2019t help. The more I did this, the more it looked like I would indeed be keeping everyone waiting.<\/p>\n

Eventually, I surrendered to the path of the labyrinth, wondering if my crazy maneuvers would prevent me from ever arriving. I finally did make it, and didn\u2019t keep anyone waiting.<\/p>\n

As I sat in the center with my friends, we discussed the lessons of the labyrinth. I shared my crazy obsession with getting to the center.\u00a0 My friends helped me see that this journey through the labyrinth reflected my thinking at the time. I just wanted to be done. I wanted to be out of the marriage and on with my life.<\/p>\n

\"labyrinthThe message was very clear, \u201cTrust the path. You\u2019ll get there. You can\u2019t mess anything up, but it\u2019s not about reaching the center, it\u2019s about the journey.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been divorced for 8 months as I write this, and I\u2019m doing the dating thing. For a while I dated a man I thought would be an excellent match, only to discover after building a relationship that it wasn’t going to work. My first instinct was to think, \u201cWhat a waste of time! Now I have to start all over. How many times will I have to give my heart, get hurt, and start all over before I find this person I know is out there for me… this “soul mate?\u201d<\/p>\n

Then into my mind will come the phrase, \u201cWalk the labyrinth.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

As I walk this relationship labyrinth, I find that it\u2019s not about the next man I get to know being “the one” as much as it is about getting to know me and what\u2019s important to me. What are my values? What are my patterns that need revising? \u00a0What are my deal breakers? Each man I get to know is a gift because he teaches me something about me. And I hope I\u2019m leaving each of them better than I found them. Maybe I\u2019m a piece to their puzzles. Nothing is wasted.<\/p>\n

I believe we all came here to this planet to learn things and become the people God knows we can become. Through the atonement of Jesus Christ, all our relationships are “perfect” for helping us do that.<\/p>\n

I do not regret marrying the man I married, even though the marriage ended. I believe we were in each other’s lives to become who we’re here to become. I don\u2019t regret the relationship that came after my divorce either. I learned more about myself there and was blessed by the experience.<\/p>\n

In turning to Christ, He works all things together for my good. Along the journey I\u2019m not only gaining some dating experience, but I\u2019m also being led to individuals who help me work through the relationship patterns that no longer serve me. One of the most priceless individuals God has brought my way is Denise Wade, Ph.D.<\/p>\n

Denise has helped me identify some of the attachment patterns and cycles of my childhood that are still impacting my relationship choices today. Her work is completely fascinating. If you\u2019re looking for your soul mate or have already found yours and want to get along with him\/her better, I HIGHLY recommend Denise. Visit her at http:\/\/sweetharmony.net<\/a> .<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In May of 2013, I gathered a group of friends at Serenbe Farms, just south of Atlanta, for a retreat. At that point in my personal life I had just told my then-husband I wanted a divorce, but we were still living in the same house. The papers had not been filed. My friends were…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[121],"tags":[141,142],"class_list":["post-2075","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationships","tag-dating","tag-soul-mate"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Quest for a Soul Mate - Marnie Pehrson Kuhns<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"As I walk this relationship labyrinth, I find that it\u2019s not about the next man I get to know being \u201cthe one\u201d as much as it is about getting to know me and what\u2019s important to me. 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