{"id":1820,"date":"2013-12-04T00:29:28","date_gmt":"2013-12-04T00:29:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/marniepehrson.com\/unplugged\/?p=1820"},"modified":"2014-02-18T20:02:45","modified_gmt":"2014-02-18T20:02:45","slug":"what-romance-taught-me-about-goal-setting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marniekuhns.com\/unplugged\/2013\/12\/04\/what-romance-taught-me-about-goal-setting\/","title":{"rendered":"What Romance Taught Me about Achieving My Dreams"},"content":{"rendered":"

Many of us avoid putting our hearts and souls into following our dreams because we\u2019re scared of disappointment. We\u2019re afraid our hopes will be dashed or we\u2019ll let ourselves down. Perhaps we\u2019re worried about what other people will think.<\/p>\n

\"joshelisehands2\"<\/a>As I\u2019ve re-entered the dating world, I\u2019ve learned something important about life that applies to following your dreams.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m trying to be different than I used to be in a romantic relationship. I\u2019m focusing on showing up fully as myself, opening my heart, being willing to be vulnerable and fully honest. \u00a0I\u2019m trying to express how I feel, even when that might risk the relationship ending.<\/p>\n

There is a risk involved when you do this. Your heart can get broken.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yet, I realize now that much of the way I showed up in my marriage was about protecting my heart and expecting so little that I couldn\u2019t be disappointed. I\u2019m determined not to do that again. Did this half-hearted, self-protecting stance lead to the very thing I was trying to avoid? Perhaps. It certainly didn\u2019t help.<\/p>\n

I think this fear of being hurt in relationships is akin to the fear of disappointment many of us experience in goal-setting. We\u2019re afraid of setting our hearts on something, only to suffer disappointment, self-judgment or ridicule. Defeat can be heart-breaking. So we go about our goal-setting in a half-committed way because we want to protect our hearts.<\/p>\n

One of the realizations that came to me as I entered a new relationship was that I could get hurt. I was operating a bit out of fear, holding back because my heart could get broken.<\/p>\n

Then, one day I came to this realization that I\u2019d passed the point of no return. If this relationship didn\u2019t work out, I was going to be hurt \u2013 no doubt about it. Just admitting that to myself, relieved something that allowed me to take those barriers off my heart and risk showing up fully as myself. Yes, I could get hurt, but I was going to get hurt anyway if it didn\u2019t work out. And a case could be made that the only hope the relationship has is for me to show up fully.<\/p>\n

If you go through your whole life and you know you could have created the life you wanted, but you didn\u2019t try, or only half-tried, you\u2019re going to be hurt. Whether you abdicate your ability to create or whether you give it your all and it doesn\u2019t pan out, you\u2019re going to get hurt. Yet, odds are, if you give it your all, you will get something. I believe God grants us according to our desires. And if we throw our hearts and souls behind our desires and do what we can, we will get something good in the end.<\/p>\n

But if you don\u2019t show up fully because you\u2019re afraid of failure or being hurt, you\u2019re destined to fail and you\u2019re destined for disappointment.<\/p>\n

So give it your all! Throw yourself 100% into your dreams.<\/strong> It\u2019s the only way you can even hope to achieve them. And in the end you will know that you gave it your best shot, that you gave it your all. That alone, builds self-worth and shapes you into a person of character.<\/p>\n

Join me for my next “How to Create Your Own Amazing Life Workshop<\/a>“<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Many of us avoid putting our hearts and souls into following our dreams because we\u2019re scared of disappointment. We\u2019re afraid our hopes will be dashed or we\u2019ll let ourselves down. Perhaps we\u2019re worried about what other people will think. As I\u2019ve re-entered the dating world, I\u2019ve learned something important about life that applies to following…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[23,29,121],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1820","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-creative-process","category-overcoming-obstacles","category-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Romance Taught Me about Achieving My Dreams - Marnie Pehrson Kuhns<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/marniekuhns.com\/unplugged\/2013\/12\/04\/what-romance-taught-me-about-goal-setting\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Romance Taught Me about Achieving My Dreams - Marnie Pehrson Kuhns\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Many of us avoid putting our hearts and souls into following our dreams because we\u2019re scared of disappointment. 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