Are You a Flower or a Honeybee?
When I was little my dad would ask, “Would you rather be the prettiest girl in the class or the smartest?” I knew he thought I was smart, and I liked the attention I got for it. I always answered, “The smartest.” For most of my life I’ve never thought I was pretty or beautiful. I was born with crossed eyes which were repaired in an operation at 9 months, but had a lazy eye for years. I had horribly buck teeth. My mom got me braces. My brother made fun of my legs and compared them to a “metal bar” – as in formless and straight.
So when I met my future husband, and he thought I was so beautiful and liked my legs, I never quite believed him. I chalked it up to “love is blind.” He was seeing what he wanted to see.
It wasn’t until I was in my forties that I began to be interested in feeling beautiful. I got in shape, took Carol Tuttle’s Dressing Your Truth course, and people began to comment about my attractiveness. A back-of-mind vanity warning fired occasionally, but overall I’m enjoying myself. I feel great when I’m in shape, and I enjoy looking nice. I don’t do it for others. I dress, fix my hair and put on makeup most days because it makes me feel good. I do it for me.
As time progressed, I began noticing in my meditations with the Lord, He would tell me that I am beautiful. My husband will occasionally ask, “Why are you so beautiful?” Still, I wasn’t owning it. I figured, I’m a 46-year-old woman who’s in shape, maybe that makes me stand out or something. Besides, I know beauty fades with time. We all can’t stay young and beautiful. But I look at my mother who is 80, and to me she is the most beautiful woman in the world. She has always been beautiful, but she improves with age because the beauty comes from within her. It radiates from her soul, through her eyes, and a warm glow surrounds her.
She walks into a room and love enters with her. That’s the kind of beauty that endures.
Yesterday I was on my Create a WOW Book Mentoring call, and prepped to do some energy shifting around money mindset. I had my list of affirmations handy and was ready to shift that energy for the folks on the call – using the method in which I’ve been certified.
I’d written a blog that morning, “Yep, I’ve Been Terrified to Share My Message Too” and sent it to my mentoring group earlier in the day. I began the call by asking them if they’d read it and what, if anything, stood out to them.
This started a conversation about scarcity (which would lead very well into the money mindset material I intended to cover). But the conversation was so great, that for the full hour we discussed two main themes – scarcity and what to do with outer/inner criticism. I never covered the material I had on my lap. The participants shared their brilliant insights. Many of them are energy-shifters themselves and discussed their modalities, their ideas. People were opening up and sharing brilliant ideas and epiphanies. The hour passed seamlessly. Behind the scenes, I quietly cleared blocks I saw coming up for the group.
I directed the conversation a few times, chimed in with a few of my thoughts here and there. But for the most part, the call was a beautiful example of Quantum Collaboration and co-creation. Yet why was I so unsettled at the end of the call? I felt as if I’d done something “wrong.”
This morning I decided to meditate, ponder, and pray a bit about this. Why had the call made me feel uneasy? I think it boiled down to the fact that I felt like I didn’t “do” anything. It wasn’t me being the wise one imparting knowledge or the energy shifter making things happen. Would my mentoring group realize I hadn’t “done” anything and go away?
Yet, I had played an important role. If I hadn’t, none of it would have happened. I set the stage, offered insightful talking points, and chimed in when I felt like I should. This is what I do:
1) I attract good-hearted, amazingly brilliant people.
2) I bring them together in ways that they can interact with each other in a safe loving environment where they are valued.
3) I am able to reduce or eliminate judgment and criticism.
4) I share a bit of wisdom, set talking points, get out of the way and let the infinite flow through the group.
Result: Quantum collaboration happens and the sum is far greater than the parts.
There’s an analogy I love that portrays the power of unconscious collaboration:
“Honeybees are driven to pollinate, gather nectar, and condense the nectar into honey. It is their magnificent obsession imprinted into their genetic makeup by our Creator. It is estimated that to produce just one pound (0.45 kg) of honey, the average hive of 20,000 to 60,000 bees must collectively visit millions of flowers and travel the equivalent of two times around the world. Over its short lifetime of just a few weeks to four months, a single honeybee’s contribution of honey to its hive is a mere one-twelfth of one teaspoon.
Though seemingly insignificant when compared to the total, each bee’s one-twelfth of a teaspoon of honey is vital to the life of the hive. The bees depend on each other. Work that would be overwhelming for a few bees to do becomes lighter because all of the bees faithfully do their part.” (M. Russel Ballard, “Be Anxiously Engaged,” Ensign, November 2012)
Pondering upon the honeybee reveals that we are all going about our lives, engaged in our own “magnificent obsessions,” oblivious to the collective impact we’re making on the world. The honeybee certainly doesn’t know he’s creating honey that will be drizzled on your biscuit one morning. He is clueless to the rippling impact of his actions. And so are we!
Studying this analogy, I realized I’ve been measuring my value as if I’m a honeybee – busily working to gather pollen and make a tangible product – honey. But I am NOT the honeybee in this analogy. I am the flower. It’s my job to be beautiful, to attract beautiful people, and to set the stage. My pollen is talking points, bits of wisdom. As my friend Phil Davis says, it’s my “Marnie-ness.” My job is simply to be beautiful, to be me!
What an amazing paradigm shift for me! This word, “beauty” (that I never knew what to do with) is who I was born to be. Those compliments of “you’re beautiful” that I continuously deflected are truly what I am and why I am here. From now on I’m “owning it.” It’s not about vanity. It’s about being who God created me to be – a flower who attracts beautiful people and sets the stage for magnificent obsessions to play out in quantum collaboration. Rippling impacts for good result in the world when I show up and be me. WOW! I love it!
If this post resonates with you, you might want to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process. You may take my Light Bearer Assessment here. It’s fast and free!
About Marnie Pehrson Kuhns
Marnie Pehrson Kuhns is a Certified SimplyAlign Practitioner™ who uses music and creativity to mentor you past barriers, fears and doubts to discover, create, align with, and deliver your soul’s song (the mission, message or purpose you are on this earth to live). Marnie is a best-selling author with 31 fiction and nonfiction titles. If you'd like Marnie and her husband Dave to work with you personally on Your Great Reinvention, get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.
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It’s me, Marnie, Regina, crying as I read this. Why? Because I, like you, probably don’t realize what my contribution is, as in REALLY is, for people, for humanity. I had no idea you didn’t know this about yourself and came to calls masterfully creating a space for “quantum collaboration.” I’ve been so mystified about your posts this week. I’m beginning to understand. Thanks for leading the way in being totally transparent and real with us!
Funny how we think people “get” their gifts. I think most of us are like those oblivious honeybees doing what we instinctively feel compelled to do. I can totally see your greatness, Regina! And I know it’s hard for you to see it. I’m finding it’s so important to surround yourself by people who do see your greatness so they can reflect it back to us. It’s taken a lot of mirrors to help me get this!
Marnie, Again, I love how you write and put things together. Your words always pull me in and it makes sense. Just so you know….. You are beautiful inside and out! Own it! 😉 You are an amazing gal, with so much beauty…your gifts and talents are amazing and with that you are able to teach and reach others who have the same feelings, but you put things together that makes so much sense.
Thank you for your greatness. Love you and what you give to all of us!
Thank you, Rhonda! You’re an angel!
What I said yesterday to another member of your book mentoring group applies to you too. “Who you are is more important than what you do. Being always trumps doing.” I think you’re getting it. A great call yesterday led by a beautiful human being!
Thank you, Neill! And thank you for being such a priceless part of my journey!
Life is much better when you are yourself. You took this to a new level on how being yourself really serves the world for the better. Thanks Marnie for sharing
Thank you, Ann! 🙂
Your points 1) – 4) above are spot on. That is *totally* you!!
Thanks, Terri! So does that mean I need to tweak 2 and 3 or just that 1 and 4 come through stronger? 🙂
Oh, no! I meant 1) *thru* 4) 🙂
oh, ok! 🙂 A dash would indicate “through.” Just didn’t read it right. Time for a break. I think I’ll kick back and watch a movie. 🙂
Wow! This is amazing Marnie. I love your writing and in my world, you are one of the most beautiful woman I know, both inside and out. And to top it off, you one smart woman. Your transparency is so refreshing. You create the space for others to live their truth and realize, no matter who we are, life is a process of growth.
Thanks so much Kathleen! I truly appreciate your support and encouragement. What I love about you is that you seem to truly understand the value you bring to the world. You express your confidence in such a fun, engaging way. You had me at “hello” the first time I met you! 🙂
Marnie,
I want to thank you on many levels for sharing this post. I was so thrilled to be connected with you through TFOI. I’ve been aware of your work for so long, and you and I do such similar things, but you have combine the writing and publishing with the spirituality and human potential work. I am just beginning to do that. Yet, when I did my branding and asked everyone I worked with what I “did for them, they said I inspired them. Even my current book inspires people…and I don’t see it as inspirational. This post just speaks to me…reminds me of who I am and how I want to function in the world. I don’t know you really….but each time I see your photo or read your words, your beauty comes through to me on every level and touches me.
So great to officially, “meet you,” Nina! It is fascinating the messages that come through in our work when we don’t even realize we’re doing it. Several years back when I was writing a lot of fiction people told me that my romance novels conveyed “hope.” I didn’t intentionally try to convey hope, but after they said it I could see what they meant. Nestled within a story there was always this hope message. It sounds like you do something similar. Perhaps, go back to those people who tell you that you inspire them and ask them “in what way?” There may be an even more specific message you’re broadcasting.
Thanks for reminding me of this because I’d forgotten about that hope message… I think I’m still broadcasting it! “Yes, my office can be a mess, yes I have doubts and fears just like everyone else does. There is hope. If I can do it, you can too!” 🙂
This is beautiful, Marnie. Thanks, I needed to read this today 🙂
Absolutely breath taking and beautifully expressed. You are infinitely beautiful Marnie, inside and out! So happy that you are claiming it in this now. Beauty is aligned with our Infinite Source & Creator. Beauty is one of the highest qualities of the universe. We are surrounded by beauty all around us. We are part of creation, and Beauty is what we ARE. I have always thought you are beautiful. So happy that you are seeing this in yourself. That is very empowering! So excited that you are receiving clarity on your mission/message/purpose. I am so delighted to be a part of your tribe. You and your beautiful radiant energy attracted each and every one of us. Isn’t that beautiful? XO
Thank you, Cyndi! I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you a bit in the book group. Your comments made me think of Michael Duckett’s “The Progression” DVD. He talks about how the more we tap into love and beauty, the more abundance flows into our lives and the more we live our true purpose.
You are amazing! How I love you!
Right back atcha, Denise! Love you, my amazing friend! 🙂
Beautifully expressed by beautiful YOU–inside and out.
Thank you, Carolyn! 🙂
As one of the fortunate people who were on that call Friday, I can assure you I left it with nothing but gratitude to you for being the kind of person who creates the sacred space for the sharing we did and who attracts the kind of people who not only honored that but enriched it so beautifully. Our shared acknowledgement of a higher power at work keeps any recognition of beauty in ourselves or each other from being vanity…rather it is praise and gratitude.
I continue to delight at our alignment, Marnie. When I host my ‘energy shifting events’ I lead in with “this is not a meditation, it is a collective act of power.” When you create the invitation for brilliance to arise you will never be disappointed. Everyone sparkles with the frequency of their inimitable essence.
Like the honeybee, seeking the nectar, it’s what we all recognize as precious… your essence, my essence, the power of aligned essence and intention naturally creates what you call ‘quantum collaboration.’
We are collaborative by nature. Look anywhere in nature and you will notice it is in the core template. Sometimes the collaboration looks like endings/beginnings, synergy or evolution… it’s collaboration all the same. Sing on, sister!
Great insight dearest. Thank you for sharing your paradigm shift with us. You are beautiful. Rooted in Spirit you have access to the Hearts wisdom and Total Recall to who you are – Divine Consciousness, Royalty, Love, Joy and Bliss pass through fulfilling your Divine Purpose of being the best that you can be while share your earthly purpose Quantum Collaboration. OWN IT GIRL! Sending Love and Light
The conversions ratio, form audience to well satisfy consumers, will be high if you get twitter followers. There are so many websites which are offering you the chance to get twitter followers. Before going to buy twitter followers you must be clear about the good reputation of those sites in the market.
Thank you so much for the reminder- we can’t all be honey bees… and we can’t all be beautiful in the same ways you are… but there are a whole lot of flowers in the world! And people like you are in the world to remind is to stop struggling with WHAT to be and instead just BE!!! Thank you for BEing! You do it BEEautifully LOL
Gorgeous words and gorgeous you! When I had my 15 min. session with you at NAMS I, too, was drawn to you. You absolutely have a wonderful and beautiful spirit! I was thrilled to meet you. Thanks for sharing these beautiful thoughts.
Ah, thank you, Deborah! I enjoyed chatting with you at NAMS!
What a lovely metaphor, Marnie. You have been gifted in many ways. Your light shines through in your words, and to me, that makes you beautiful on the inside as your brilliance emanates to the outer.
Your view is nice.